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Speaking of sex, women would prefer long periods of foreplay , short sex and hours and days filled with romance. Men feel that sufficient foreplay is the gentle slap on the bottom that is given on the way to the bedroom. Sex is and will always be as long as THEY want it to be and the romance part, well that is all up to the individual. For most men it is simple “I love you” before turning on the TV or rolling up into the corner.
Enough of all those deep issues. Let talk more about the fun stuff. Like for instance, how men and women handle breakups differently. If this doesn’t make you laugh nothing will. A women is usually heartbroken regardless of who’s fault the break up is. Even in the instances that she is the one to end it, it still breaks her heart to have to end something. She will do a few things to get past it. One, she will usually write a poem and call it “Men Suck” or “All Men Should Die”. Two, she will eat at least one gallon of ice cream with some chips while watching the most ridiculously unrealistic love story she has ever heard of! Next she will call up all of her friends and put together a “girls night out” witch is code for “I need some one to act a fool with me at the bar party”. They will all go out, she will find some jerk who will play on her broken heart and they will use each other for the night. Finally, the morning AFTER she gets over her horrible hangover she will pull herself out a slump and prepare to move on with her life the right way!
Now, as irrational and silly as it seems to mend a broken heart the female way the men seem to do have just a little more trouble ending things quickly. They play “hard” and never shed a tear until about 3-6 months later when they are out at a bar which happens not have anyone there that is interested in them that night. That is when the dreaded text comes. It is usually one that says how much he hates you for ruining his life and he feels the need to suddenly label you a BIG HO. Usually these sort of text are received at about 4AM and they are totally ignored which then forces the man to move on to plan B. The calls. You know, the ones that come back to back until you answer. When she finally answers, he yells and screams a few minutes and then says something along the lines of “You know, I have always loved you. Could there possibly be another shot for us”. What happens from there depends on the woman. She will either cry and tell him to come over and then they start this madness all over again OR she refers him to some therapy sessions and hangs up.
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